Women empowerment is not men’s disempowerment

I have had friends who panic and fume whenever the topic gender equality or women empowerment is raised. To start with, women empowerment does not mean men’s disempowerment.

We are in an era that is recognising that women have in the past been disadvantaged.

The girl child has been relegated to domestic work with the boys concentrating on education when poverty hit the communities and families could not afford fees for all their children.

The girl child was sacrificed on the basis that she would get married and become a mother, wife and be taken care of by the husband.

Besides, she would only be making rich the family she is married to while because of the patrilineage the boys would retain the riches in the family and take care of the family.

So women did not need education and a successful career, it was assumed.

It is time to strip off the stereotype of men as the sole provider. It is time to open doors for women from the private to the public domain and accept them as equal players who can contribute as effectively as men whether as housewives or breadwinners.

So if you are a man, experience a new day, wake up to be a new person who is for the empowerment of women without being sceptical that it is an injury to your power.

And if you are a woman, stand up and believe, dream openly and big for that matter.

It is not a crime.

You have been taught not to have ambitions and not to dream big, it is time to believe ambitions are not just for men, ambitions are for humans and
you are one with that human right.

Women need to rise with the help of men, who are naturally on an elevated level in this patriarchal society.

Men need to give them a hand and help them on their feet to work together as equal partners.

So brother, give your sister a hand and respect her, husband help your wife up and value her and grandpa and grandma tell your grandkids tales that value women and girls. Together we can only be stronger!

Strong women, better world!

Twitter: @GraceZimbabwe

Facebook: ZimGender with Gracey

Athletes continue with sport despite baby bumps

Carrying life in one’s womb for nine months is such an amazing yet overwhelming experience women have over the years proved stronger to champion.

It is a herculean task even the least respected woman in society has managed to prove capable of naturally executing.

Working out and exercising is a healthy routine most people dread to go through, even those that are desperate to achieve something  –lose or gain weight– love the outcome but hate the journey.

Imagine pregnancy combined with team sports like volleyball that includes a pattern of workouts that range from jumps, squats and stretches? What a strong woman that athlete would be!

The Harare Volleyball League has greatly inspired women who are defying the cliché that once married or pregnant female athletes automatically retire from professional sports, which has, however, been evident in women’s football in the past.

When she discovered she was pregnant, Nyengeterai Guyo (22), a policewoman at Harare’s Police General Headquarters who plays for Starz Volleyball Club, planned to stop playing the game at the end of her first trimester.

Seven months into her first pregnancy, she has not been able to resist “the feel good temptation of playing, with the green light from my gynaecologist.”

“It is the passion for the game that keeps me playing with this child, I may play till the last day. Playing volleyball has been a journey for me and I decided I couldn’t be stopped by pregnancy when everyone from my husband to my family supports me,” said Guyo.

Vimbai Chawasarira (22) and Juliet Jaravaza (26) are also law enforcers plying their trade with Support Unit and Zimbabwe Republic Police Morris Depot Volleball clubs, respectively.

Chawasarira is also seven months pregnant, while Jaravaza is in her second month. They have each other for support and motivation from the sport team they love.

The women have proved an American Sports Psychologist, Joan Steidinger, right. In her new book Sisterhood in Sports: How Female Athletes Collaborate and Compete, Steidinger points out that “women and girls tend to have BFFs, collaborate during periods of stress, express empathy for one another, worry about themselves and others and desire to have fun in
sports, which makes their experiences of sports and competition different from their male counterparts.”

Chawasarira said: “I have support and motivation from my teammates,” while Jaravaza who is carrying her second child spoke from experience after delivering her first son the same day she had played a volleyball match.

“I played until the last day and I went to labor after coming from a volleyball match. My son was healthy at 3,9kgs and I had a short labor,” said Jaravaza who named her son after the official FiVB indoor volleyball game ball for international competitions including the 2012 London Olympics, Mikasa.

Off stage with Bev Sibanda

GRACE CHIRUMANZU-

Orlando Kudzai (5) from Hillside, Harare, gets down on the floor dancing like a young professional, much to the awe of two visitors in his mother’s house smiling and revealing that he saw the moves when his mum danced at a family show at Harare Gardens.

It is the only show he has watched Beverly Sibanda exhibiting her talent. Bev is his mother and it is clear he draws a lot of inspiration from her.

Orlando is the ‘man’ in Bev’s life and he is the source of her inspiration on stage.

The 23-year-old mother said, “Everything I do, I do it for my son, this is the best way I know I can give him a good life I never really had.”

Bev lost her mother when she was in Grade Two. She lived with her father who had already separated with her late mother.

Living with a stepmother, four siblings from her mother’s side and five other stepsisters never gave her the much-needed feeling of belonging.

She remembers those few years as a period of competition for the father’s love before he passed on, six years after losing a mother. The dancer thus lost two of her parents before she was a teenager.

“Life with my stepsisters has not been easy, not everyone loved me and some of them would even take my school fees for personal use. This forced me to learn to be responsible at an early age. In fact, that’s where I got the courage to be on my own with my son. I remember the first days I lived alone, I had only one blanket and not even a stove,” she recalls.

Dancing has been her passion since secondary school where she was a cheerleader. Her flexibility and energy on the stage has got some people suspecting she will be under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

The Sexy Angels leader confessed the only drink that has powered her moves on stage was an energy drink – Redbull.

“I don’t take alcohol. I only drink Coke and Redbull for energy. I have an attitude on stage; when I dancendinenge ndatove pahasha, I do it with great passion and I am good at pretending, so people get easily convinced that I would be drunk,” she said.

“I chose this profession after people encouraged me to start a dance group. I used to dance at ladies’ nights competitions in clubs and winning made me think I could actually do this as a profession and earn a living from it. I have so far secured a housing stand and bought a car.”

Her name has attracted some criticism in a patriarchal Zimbabwean society. Apparently, culture finds her dressing on stage improper for a woman and some Christians have castigated her seductive moves on stage as a sin.

But Bev does not give a hoot!

“Look, this is just dancing! I perform in clubs and normally it is not for the Under-21 and since what happens on stage stays there I don’t see any sin in that. In fact, let Christians be Christians and we shall all meet there (on Judgement Day.) People who really know me, never get to criticise me, it is those who have never come to my shows and who don’t know who Bev really is who get to judge. But I normally adopt an attitude like Brenda Fassie, I don’t care so long I am able to provide for my son knowing that I am doing nothing wrong,” she said.

A decent, calm and caring mother is what one sees in the dancer at her home.

On stage, her dancing has been described as raunchy with the act popping the other side of her that is loved by some who have watched her perform and despised by others who have heard of her.

Her licence, issued by the Censorship Board, allows her to strip on stage but not beyond her lingerie and defies her contact with patrons.

She was caught offside recently at the 2014 Harare International Carnival where, despite winning an award for the Best Contemporary Group first runner up, she was arrested for roping a patron on stage.

“I was only following the instructions we had for the Samba Night.  Normally I don’t care what the media says about me because they are people trying to sell their papers neither do I worry about being arrested but the only thing that gets me worried constantly and runs through my mind is, What would  become of my son if anything happens to me?

“I didn’t get any bad treatment from the police (while in the cells) the only tiresome drill I went through was being called several times and had to walk up and down the corridor so many times. I thought maybe it was an excitement on their part that Bev was around and they wanted everyone to see me,” she smiled.

During the course of her profession, Bev has lost some dancers whose husbands have denied them a life on the stage. Pole dancing and seductive tease is a culture taboo for women in Zimbabwe.

It has some indecent connotations that have defied the typical cultural image of a married woman or mother as docile, shy and submissive.

This is why Bev is not yet ready to get married, she reveals.

“All I want at the moment is to build my life and that of my son. My fear is meeting someone who would not love my son.

“So, I still have a lot of things to do for myself and for him before I could think of marriage,” she said.

Women of Zimbabwe inspiring change

Captain Chipo Matimba

Grace Chirumanzu

Mandishona Donson Matimba and Anne Chipoyera of Harare raised nine children, the five girls were treated equally with boys as roles in the household were not allocated according to gender.

Then, girls would ride roughshod over bikes and were allowed the adventures now mostly attributable to boys in our highly conservative society, to the extent that even venturing up trees with four of her brothers never constituted an issue .

Resultantly, one of the five girls grew up confident that she could do anything that boys could, even with more zeal and dexterity.

Today Chipo Matimba is a pilot with Air Zimbabwe.

“Soon after High School, I saw an advert for Air Force of Zimbabwe trainee pilots and I applied. l went through the recruitment formalities in 1994. The military training was gruesome but certainly not insurmountable. Being pioneers in this male dominated environment was a challenge, as many logistical changes had to be summounted in order to accommodate female cadets,” she said.

“The first six months was militarily training and the next six was ground school which comprises theory in aviation studies. The 12 months that followed covered flying lessons in general, handling instruments, navigation, formation and aerobatic flying.”

Growing up as a bright little girl from Belvedere Primary School and Harare Girls High, Captain Matimba was, besides that, just an ordinary young woman. Today she commands respect as one of six of Zimbabwe’s female pilots, others being captain Emilia Njovani, Merna Moore, Chipo Gatsi, Elizabeth Chikumba and Sithandekile Dube.

She talks of her first experience with the plane.

“Being in control of an aeroplane was an exhilarating experience, and ironically something almost beyond sensationalism. The first aircraft I ever flew was the Siai Marchetti SF260, also known as the Genet. It was a familiarisation flight where I was given control of the plane just to get a feel of the aircraft.

Matimba epitomises women who know what they want and have vigorously pursued it without making patriarchy a scapegoat for goal attainment.

Today marks the International Women’s Day, a day being celebrated across the globe under the theme: Inspiring Change. Its main thrust is challenging the masculine status quo and guarantee equality among all of God’s creation.

“The society in general, and my male counterparts in particular, accepted my venturing into military aviation, a career once only stereotyped for men and I feel very much at home in the aviation fraternity.  From my experience as both a military and an airline pilot, I believe any woman with focus and determination can take up the challenge.  All that’s needed is a lot of hard work and dedication,” she said.

“In the past, women were marginalised in many professions. With the advent of gender equality any woman can tackle any field successfully without fear of chauvinism.  Lets stand up fellow ladies and be both seen and heard.”

Nyaradzayi Gumbonzvanda

Meanwhile Grace Chirumanzu (GC) also spoke to Nyaradzayi Gumbonzvanda (NG), the general secretary of the World YWCA and founder of Rozaria Memorial Trust about International Women’s Day and what it means to ordinary local women. Below are excepts:

 GC: The theme of this year’s international women’s day is “inspiring change,” what do you think that means to an ordinary Zimbabwean woman?

For many Zimbabwe women, “inspiring change” would refer to the daring and audacious leadership or actions that practically improve the daily conditions of life, while creating opportunities for the future. Women in Zimbabwe are looking at those bold and innovating steps that would ensure access to basics such as quality, accessible and affordable education, health care and household food sovereignty. Resilient and innovative women in communities like my late mother, Rozaria Marumisa-Dizha who, against all odds, were changing lives as they built foundations for a future, continue to inspire

GC: What is your message to Zimbabwean women who are still under the discrimination of patriarchal men on a day considered to be theirs, yet a non-event to them?

NG: International Women’s Day is very important for every woman and girl, and even for men and boys. This is a day to honour, recognise and celebrate the role of women. Patriarchy sustains discriminatory and disempowering practices and attitudes where women then often face abuse, violence and exclusion, resulting also in women looking down upon themselves and other women. This special day enables people, families and governments to assert and affirm that women are persons with rights and dignity and that they are equally born in the image of  God.

GC: Do you feel days like these are good enough to inspire change and empower women?

NG: On days like this, it is important for women to raise some of the critical issues facing the nation and to offer solutions and concrete recommendations and proposals. For instance, in the area of women in decision making, it is crucial that days like IWD should constitute space for discussing the gender parity principle in the new Constitution and how this can be achieved. On economic empowerment for women, it is crucial to discuss ways in which women can be engaged and facilitated as entrepreneurs, producers and workers as the backbone of the household and national economy.

Source: The Zimbabwe Mail

The promiscuity jacket: shabby for women and Bling-Bling for men

Cheating should not be gendered.

Gender Lenses

with Grace Chirumanzu

“There is no woman who knows where his man is. In fact, the only woman who knows where her husband is is a widow.” A colleague told me that when I had boasted that, “I trust my man” after a phone-call from him telling me he was already at home relaxed with the kids around 5pm on Friday.

So, they went on to claim that for as long as that man has got two legs don’t ever trust he is where he tells his partner he is. It was not the first time I have heard it. Besides the issue of patriarchy, this perception is what ‘encourages’ men to misbehave because their wives and society ‘expects’ that to be their masculine nature.

For the record, I don’t believe it is true of all men. There are still some good family men out there and yes, for the single sisters –your Mr Right exists. In fact, it should not be true of any man.

But why does the society tolerate men’s promiscuity and view women’s as shocking and unheard of?

In any patriarchal society, men tend to be accepted for going against the norm. If that misnomer persists, it becomes a gender aspect tagged with their sexuality with acceptance.

It is like a basic relationship between the powerful and the powerless Lawrence Simbarashe popularly known as Bonzo, will laugh his lungs out to any of the businessman Phillip Chiyangwa’s dry jokes and call him mdara even when he is younger than him, just for the obvious reasons. So, the society tends to justify and tolerate men’s bad behaviors because they are dominant.

Even the wife of a pastor –a man perceived to be God fearing and decent, will have her bubble burst if she claims that her husband is faithful. “Varume havarambirwe.” A famous shona statement used mostly among women to tell each other to leave a room for disappointment as men cannot be trusted 100% according to them.

Well, that is rubbish!

If you give someone a jacket, he will wear it. Some men are just fulfilling society’s expectations. Women run away from the temptations of cheating, they defy the tatty feminine jacket of promiscuity, because they know it is not expected of them by society.

Women do not have to endure marriages with cheating husbands in the hope that one day it will come to an end, believing ‘that’s what men do’ and women need to fight for their marriage. Yet a man is ready to send a cheating woman back to her family and file for a divorce with the encouragement of society.

I am a liberal feminist and this is not a campaign for society to adore women in the promiscuity jacket. That will be a classic misunderstanding of women empowerment.

The point is, the jacket should be viewed the same without any justification of whether one is male or female. It is stinking filthy!

Let us set the right expectations and people will behave like that. Men are loving, faithful and trustworthy partners.